This will be my first trip traveling internationally since I was a child. I spent 4 years in the united states growing up as an army brat. That’s all. That’s my experience leaving the country. I’m now set to spend two months with a rather vague itinerary. Starting in Germany, exploring the surrounding areas, two weeks in Thailand and the last two based out of Germany to finish it up.
Overwhelming is by definition the word to use in a situation like this, but the severity of which I experienced was like nothing before. Population density was the largest issue I faced nearly tied for first with Language barriers. I was not prepared. This trip tore me down. This trip left me in the cold and this trip showed me I was not ready. All confidence I had gained previously on my Cross-Canada and English based adventures left me with a sense of security. It became shattered. I was lost. Anxiety had peaked and social situations out of my control had come together to form a mass of communication problems, stressors and arguments otherwise easily avoidable. I found myself acting out of character as I was so lost with no sense of independence. I couldn’t even help myself most of the time as I had to rely on those around me. I was helpless for the first time since I was a child. I couldn’t cope with it, I couldn’t de-stress and I could not digest those feelings. This showed me so much about myself I have never even known. A darker side which had never come forth. The struggle between being who I was and who I wanted to be grew far more difficult every day. I had to get it together. It came in waves and even the day I left I was still not okay. Being home in Canada for two months after the trip it has followed me. An uphill battle to return to a normal day to day life. To become as strong as I was before has been incredibly difficult and unforgiving. Doubt, lack of self confidence and insecurities have plagued my day to day life. But as a Prologue, this is the beginning of a story and my emotions shall develop alongside as I tell you of my travels.
Now it’s important to note that this trip was exactly what I needed. I was brought into communities and homes as a Guest, Friend and Partner. The loving, wild and kind hearts we all meet at home are scattered across this tragically beautiful earth. They will always find you if you let them. They will always help you if you need it and even when you can’t communicate with words they will find a way. I owe a lot to people I don’t even have a name for this summer. To those with never ending kindness and patience for all of us as we travel, those who bring us into their homes and treat us as family and especially those close to your heart and soul that bring you into their world. I must thank all of them.
So now the sappy stuff is out of the way. The emotional burden of being so lost is already mentioned and we can move on. To twisting narrow streets, High horse power sports cars, limitless highways, ancient castles, crystal blue oceans and monkeys at the trail side. Places on no map, sights on no trip advising website and corners only known by the locals. This is what this trip entailed, this is just another story as it comes full circle.